Suicide Rock in Clouds

On most days in southern California, light from the sun washes away the color of the land. On this day, an afternoon wind from the ocean carried clouds from the coast into the mountains, thick clouds that darkened the light of the sun. Only a little light remained and it was no brighter than the light that remains for a few minutes in the evening when the sun passes beyond the horizon. In this unnatural darkness with its little light, the color of the land became intense and the light itself seemed to emanate from the trees and rocks and ferns.

On most days in southern California, rays of heat from the sun warm my skin even while a cool breeze chills my bones. On this day, in the unexpected dark light of the afternoon, the coldness that I usually feel only in my bones spread to my muscles and skin, even while my jacket kept the wind outside.

On most days light and darkness, and warmth and coldness, seem to have a normal order about them that went away on this day when the clouds covered the sun and filled the mountains. In the alternative order of this day, light and darkness are not controlled by the relative position of light and dark spheres, but light is something that emanates from rocks and trees and ferns. Warmth is unknown and coldness radiates from bones.

In the normal order, the sun heats the air over the ocean to make the wind, but in the alternative order, the wind is inexplicable because warmth is unknown.

So much depends on what we know and what we don’t – the motion of the spheres, the light within and without, the coldness of bones, the color of things, and the meaning of wind.